Grimrock

While testing, I came across an interesting thing.

There are, of course, things that the game developers have planned for you to experience, but then there is.. emergent behavior.



Kroghan glanced around the corner, hugging the cold, damp stone wall. Skeletons. At least it wasn't more spiders. Taking a deep breath, he took inventory. Three potions left. He was lucky he had even that many, as Devon wasn't much of a alchemist, and only got inspired of mixing these right before the incident with the mushroom monster.

That had not ended well. Half of the party wiped before they could hardly react. Only a few minutes later Hans had gone under due to the poison from the spiders earlier. They had run out of antidote a couple dozen spiders ago.

Kroghan closed the visor on his helmet - or well, Silve's, but it's not as if she'd complain, taken the condition she was in.

Couple more corridors to go. It must be here somewhere.

Closing his eyes, gripping tightly the handle of his only remaining friend in this world, he concentrated, resolute to make it through.

He opened his eyes. Turned the corner. And with a scream, ran towards the skeletons, his axe held high.

Cool stuff Sol-HSA!

That kind of gameplay can only come from a very certain, special kinds of games.

They're one of the more fascinating aspects of computer games IMO.

Sol_HSA, how sensitive are you about your writing? If you'd like, I can offer some suggestions. Otherwise, forget I said anything.

Alaric wrote:Sol_HSA, how sensitive are you about your writing? If you'd like, I can offer some suggestions. Otherwise, forget I said anything.

I'm fully aware that was crappy writing - this was a spur-of-the-moment thing done just before hitting the bed, and should not be confused with high literature by any means

That, and it's been ages since I last did any 'creative' writing.

That said, feel free

Kroghan cautiously peeked around the corner, pressing himself against the cold of the damp limestone wall.

"Skeletons..."

At least there weren't any more spiders.

Drawing a deep breath, he took stock of what gear he had left. The sash contained grime, crumbs and three healing potions. The latter tasted like copper, yet he was fortunate to have even that much. Devon, for all his boasting, had never shown himself to be much of a alchemist, preferring his staff to his retort. This last batch he grudgingly brewed just before the mushroom monster encounter that ended his career permanently.

And not only his. Half the party got slaughtered before they could so much as raise their arms in defense. And a few minutes later, Hans had finally succumbed to poison that was slowly writhing him for the past few hours. What antidote they had, ran out a few dozen spiders ago, and by the end he didn't even have the strength to scream.

"I should have given him the gift of mercy. Even though he was my friend. Because he was my friend."

Kroghan lowered his visor grimly. It was actually Silve's visor, and Silve's helm for that matter, but it's not as if she would, or could, ever complain again.

"For all I know, I will be joining them soon enough," the large man reflected, "then they'll tell me what I should have done differently. Although, there are probably just a couple more corridors to go. It must be here somewhere."

Closing his eyes for a moment, the last of the escaped prisoners gripped tightly on the handle of his only remaining friend.

"I must make it through," he thought. "Gods preserve me."

A moment later he turned the corner, and with a roar of fury and desperation, charged at the undead.

I think a mix of the two styles would be better. The bottom one is very descriptive but lacks the feeling of desperation that is present in the first version.

"Kroghan glanced around the corner, hugging the cold, damp stone wall. Skeletons. At least it wasn't more spiders. Taking a deep breath, he took inventory. Three potions left. He was lucky he had even that many, as Devon wasn't much of a alchemist and had only been inspired to mix them just before the incident with the mushroom monster.

That had not ended well. Half of the party wiped before they could hardly react. A few minutes later, Hans had gone under due to the poison from the spiders they had run into earlier. They'd run out of antidote a couple dozen spiders ago.

Kroghan closed the visor on his helmet - well, Silve's, but it's not as if she'd complain, given the condition she was in.Just a few more corridors to go. It must be here somewhere.

Closing his eyes while gripping tightly the handle of his only remaining friend in this world, he concentrated, resolute to make it through.

He opened his eyes, turned the corner and with a scream, ran towards the skeletons, his axe held high."

Just a few tweaks. Again, no offense Alaric but Sol had some pretty decent pacing going on and while your version was well written, it didn't have that same feel.

My main question here is what any of this has to do with emergent behavior.