Grimrock

I agree, it would be nice to have some sort of intro and outro... maybe including at the end a list of "credits" in room order or something.

Haven't had chance to playtest it yet (though I have downloaded the file at home)... am hoping to get some time to do so tonight.

I want to tell you all I'm so sorry for vanishing. I have always had a difficult time juggling the physical world and the online world, but when everything came crashing down at the end of last year, old habits became impossible to manage. I am now confessing that I am an alcoholic and that I need to apologize to you all, as this has affected you all. All of your hard work, energy, and devotion to this project took a back seat to my own selfish needs. I am not healthy, and I will not be for a long time, but I accept that and am making an effort to get myself straight. Today is 30 days sober, and I have started going to daily AA meetings; I am also now in a support group for another addiction.

As I write this (offline), I have no idea if you have gone ahead and released the last version of the project or not. If you want to do that (if it hasn't already been done), then I completely understand, and my name does not need to be attached to it in any way; I know how much I let you all down. If it has not been completed, we (or you, depending on how you all feel) can certainly do that, with or without me. I think that choice belongs to all of you, in retribution for what I have done.

I deeply regret the way I left; it's just that everything was crashing down and I couldn't focus on what was important and what wasn't at the time. I'm getting there. I also apologize if anyone worried about me. I cannot ask for your forgiveness, as I don't feel I deserve it...I just needed to make amends, as the guilt and shame I feel kept getting harder and harder to deal with every day. I hope you can understand (but part of me hopes you can't, if it means none of you ever have to know what this feels like).

I love you guys. The spirit of kindness and generosity on these boards is nothing I ever would have voluntarily given up; please know that.

-John

Ouch, something about reading this makes me sad inside.

John..

I am deeply sorry to hear what you have been going through... I'm sure I'm not alone in having been concerned for you, but we knew what had happened at the end of last year, so we understood when you weren't around in this little corner of the internet.
Thank you for posting here and sharing what happened. That is probably a very hard thing to do and I respect you for that.

After much waiting and hoping, we have indeed gone ahead with the project, thanks mostly to Skuggs and JohnWordsworth, but it is not yet released, and there may be scope to allow you to add your room if you are able.. (I have not yet tested the Release Candidate so can't be sure). I personally would be more than happy to have you complete your room, after all this project was your baby and there is no denying the time and effort you put into it... and even if you do not get to contribute to the final dungeon, I would want your name to be included in the credits (I should be unhappy if it were not!)

I certainly wish you all the best, and hope that you won't feel the need to stay away.. you have been and would be missed.


PS perhaps best to cancel the invite to Europe for a "drink" though

keep courage SpiderFighter ! you already do the most difficult step ! hope you will find harmony again
see you soon we hope

We have no ill will at all SpiderFighter, just caring concern. I'm very glad to hear you are still with us for one thing, and not terribly injured or in prison or something else like that. Addictions are tough stuff, and you're right that I don't understand drinking or other substances because I don't do it, but I have dealt with other types of things. We're all in this life together brother, hang in there.

I'm also deeply sorry hearing about your ordeal.
Admittance is the first step, and you have taken it publicly and for that you have my respect, not all people can do that.

If you wan't and have the time, you can add your room to the current build (we can with ease add it to the "hub" area), just let us know since we are testing the release candidate at this time.
It was always my intention to have you in the credits since this was your project from the beginning, I was getting a bit worried like so many others when I didn't get any response from the PM's I sent you. But you have emerged and have taken the road to recovery, that's whats important.

with best regards.
Skuggasveinn.

Hey, Spiderfigther!

I was not involved in this particular project, just following it and was eager to play through it. But for that noble goal of seeing your contribution, I'm more than willing to wait a little longer (no matter how long it takes).

I went trough tough times when my mom passed away. I suppose is nothing like giving up an addition, but I what helped me lot was to keep my mind busy with something. I kept studying like crazy, reading book after book, writing software for 16 hours a day etc. After couple weeks the despair slowly went away. I was passing many exams with flying colors. The sense of accomplishment helped to feel better.

Perhaps you should focus on this dungeon and design the best room you can? After you're done with it, there are tons of other projects around. Keep yourself busy all the time, so you won't have time looking for a drink.

You have my deepest respect for going with the full disclosure. It must have been tough, but you chose to do it. That required a lot of strength and courage. Keep strong, man! We're counting on you!

p.s.
Ok, we've got one guy back. We need to get back Pinnguaq now.

Hi John / SpiderFighter,

Great to hear that you're okay and well and there are definitely no hard feelings that you have to worry about here (and I'm pretty sure from any of the community). While we were of course worried, that's only because you made such a positive impact upon us as an upstanding member of this community. I'm not going to pretend to understand your situation, as it sounds like you are going through times much tougher than I have ever had to go through, but your real life has to come before your online-life and it sounds like you are handling your situation much better than many others could - even if it's not plain sailing all the way.

It's very strong of you to open up honestly in the way you have on these forums and, even with my little experience in the subject, I think that's a positive sign that you want things to get better - the most important step. I wish you the very best in that regard. Sorry to hear that you have been feeling guilty about the way you left. Another sign of the upstanding guy that you are - but we all understand the way online communities work, and that they have to take a back seat when real-life deals it's blows. There's no need for forgiveness or guilt from us, we're pro-active enough to work around obstacles appearing here and there.

The most important things are our health and our family - and I wish you the best in both departments.

There's no way you can weedle your way out of the credits . You did a great thing by starting this project and bringing the community together around this pillar. If you'd like to add your room to the 'Hub' at the end, that's easy to do - while we'd love for you to add a room, please don't feel pressured either way.

All the best,
John W

A big virtual-hug to you, John.
Dedicate all your energies to the recovery path you are taking - that is the important thing. If getting back on board with this will help you, please do so, we are totally happy to see you coming back! Just don't feel pressured in any way - if you prefer to pass, don't waste energies, you need them.

Hug again!
Marco