"
petri wrote:Oh, no! They're coming to gag me now... MMMMPFFF MMMMMPPFFFF! ....Wait, I can still type with ma toes!
(this is getting weird
)
Legend of Grimrock Custom Level- PETRI-FIED!
Your four man party of desperadoes face their most terrifying challenge yet...
THE ALMOST HUMAN OFFICES!!!,
You-Archetype Mc Hero-Protaganist boy and your trusty companions
Conan the Librarian-Wielder of the evil tome Necrotelicomnicon(Kindle edition)
Sneaky Pants Rogues a lot "oops there goes your wallet" Jones
Lord Scary Laugh the terminally magical eyebrowless fire mage of old Firetop Mountain(TM to da DM)...
Must rescue "
Toe-Rus The Toe tappin Morse coded One" from durance most vile!.
Level One...
You awake with a startled jerk(its sneaky pants,that jerk was rifling your pockets again!)
"sorry boss" he hisses in the least apologetic tone you have ever heard,just practicing,
"what happened" you mumble,
"one minute we were on the way to the Almost Human Dungeon to rescue Petri Toe-Rus from the evil Release Date Cult,
the next minute my vision went all swirly,there was a short cut scene and then we were here, almost equipment-less and with ZERO EXPERIENCE POINTS!"
"Narrative boss,bloody narrative" Conan explains tersely,looking up from where he is Origami-ing a full suit of chainmail and a bastard sword(and bitchin' dagger) from the pages of his trusty Telicomnicomi-karmakarmachaleon-icomthingy.
"Oh" you exclaim grumpily "fecking narrative again..sigh"
You examine your surroundings in deepening despair( deep,impressive narrative voice over brought to you by James Earl Jones),
noting the groans of damned souls chained to 1980's IBM typewriters in the background,
the stench of Mountain Dew and Herring salad in the air,
the chilling notices in an Eldritch Script on the dank(but stunningly rendered)walls
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE DAMNED FOR ALL ETERNITY TO WORK HERE,BUT IT HELPS"
"CAFETERIA SPECIAL TODAY! A DELICIOUS SLICE OF SNAIL...FRIED IN ARTERY CLOGGING BUTTER"
"HEY,AT LEAST WE GOT IT OUT QUICKER THAN DUKE NUKEM!"
Your heart chills at the hideous implications of these blood spattered runes,
in the background a monotonous chant in a robotic voice drones over and over "
Now these points of data make a beautiful line
And we're out of beta, we're releasing on time"
you come out of your revery with a start,
then a C:,then a gosub,
"Boss!" Conan snarls "stop with the MS Dos routines! we don't need that anymore,we run on Windows 7 now dammit!"
Ok gang thats as far as I've gotten now(and I came up with all of this on the fly in the last 20 minutes!)
PLEASE lets make this an epic story between us all!
Continue on from where I left it!.
