Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance.

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CremionisD
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Re: Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance.

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Sir Tawmis wrote: A large map is available on my site here to view.
Oh. That map is beautiful!

And thanks for making my wishes a reality...
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Sir Tawmis
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Re: Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance.

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CremionisD wrote:
Sir Tawmis wrote: A large map is available on my site here to view.
Oh. That map is beautiful!

And thanks for making my wishes a reality...
Regard the map: Took the PDF, zoomed in and screen captured it into three pieces; then combined all three pieces to make a pretty good sized map. (Makes it easier for me to reference when I am writing)

As for your wish about about the characters; that's my pleasure. As I have always said, I have no real direction with this story; I just write whatever comes to me. So if someone comes on here with an idea to explore; I am all to happy to venture down that avenue and see where the creative process in my brain takes me. There's obvious more to tell about their story (that should be very clear!) - but what I realized is how well that works out. To flesh out the knight and the mage; who are paired together from their first appearance on the island. Then I will probably explore the slaver (alchemist) and the barbarian since they're technically paired (since he was a slave on the ship she served on). So that opens some interesting doors for me to see what's behind them! So thank you very much for fueling my creativity. The honor of writing for someone who enjoys this, is forever mine.
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Sir Tawmis
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Re: Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance.

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The Origin of Sir Karin and Alissa, Part Two.


Sir Karin pulled the reigns on his horse, bringing it to a halt. He slid off the horse with great ease, despite the full set of armor. He began unraveling the latches on the side of the saddle. “This is a good place to camp for now.”

Alissa looked around once, and agreed.

Sir Karin had gathered dry and brittle wood, but never wandering far enough that Alissa was not within his sight. As the embers chased one another into the sky, casting shadows against the trees, Sir Karin sifted through the burning wood with the tip of his sword. “May I ask,” he began, his eyes focused on the flames, before finally looking up to meet her steel gaze, “what made you want to become a Mage?”

“Because it was the only way to escape the thumb of my father’s coddling,” Alissa shrugged. “He would never let me do anything – and certainly,” she looked at Sir Karin’s sword as it stabbed the wood, whose embers burned red, like blood, “never let me learn something like a sword. So I lied. I told my father that I was going to the Great Library to study about history; in truth, I studied nothing but magic, day in and day out, until I felt that my eyes closed because they could bare to not read another word.”

“Most,” Sir Karin shrugged, pulling his sword from the crimson embers, “would die to have the life you had; to be the daughter of royalty, to be doted upon, to have whatever your heart desired.”

“That’s just it,” Alissa growled defensively, “I did not want to be doted upon. I wanted to earn the things that were given to me. Do you realize –“ she began, then halted, calming herself, once she felt the anger burning like the fire that warmed her, “My childhood was horrible. Children were envious of me. None wanted to be my friend. They gathered in circles and whispered vile things, as most children do. But I was exiled by those I sought to be friends. Those that did dare to become friends, were quickly scared away, by words whispered by their parents; that if I was ever to get angry at them, my father would hang them and their family – even if that wasn’t true.”

“I had not considered that,” Sir Karin nodded, his gaze lost in the flames of the fire. He looked up at her, “My apologies, Lady Alissa. I was inconsiderate of your own feelings, and sought to turn you back from something you desired. I hope, I can ride with you, from this moment forward, not as your guardian, but your friend.”

“My friend,” Alissa whispered the words, now it was her gaze that was lost in the flames; the flickering fire reflected in her eyes, piercing deep into her soul, where for many years now, there was no trace of warmth. She shook her head after a long moment, “I wish I could believe you,” her gaze lifted to meet his, “but I see what you’ve done. You pried and found a weakness in my armor, and now, to better serve the king you so faithfully follow – my father – you seek to adjust your ‘quest’ with kind words of offered friendship knowing I was never given such as a childhood. Clever,” she sneered, “I almost believed you – if but for one small moment. You,” she said, as she laid down and pulled her bedroll over her, “should truly look into joining a Thieves Guild, rather than the Knighthood – because you make an excellent liar… and know how to backstab with the best of them.”

Sir Karin reached out – he wanted to say something – but he knew there was no way to convince her. She was, he had found, very stubborn. He had sincerely met his words of friendship. He clenched his teeth for a moment, and poked the fire with his sword again, sending ashes and embers flying towards the stars.

-------
Footnote:
The story was written, listening to this amazing cover by Malukah on constant repeat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=re32xnyYP3A

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CremionisD
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Re: Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance.

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Ahh.
Another part.. Thanks! Keep it up..
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Sir Tawmis
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Re: Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance.

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CremionisD wrote:Ahh.
Another part.. Thanks! Keep it up..
Thank you! Finding these two characters a little more interesting? With these little bits? I plan to do the alchemist and the other barbarian next.
Define ... 'Lost.' Neverending Nights - The Neverwinter Machinima that WILL make you laugh!
Also read: Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance here on the forum! Check out the site I made for Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance.
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CremionisD
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Re: Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance.

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Sir Tawmis wrote: Thank you! Finding these two characters a little more interesting? With these little bits? I plan to do the alchemist and the other barbarian next.
Yes, IMHO this offers a good starting point to start growing the characters in and relationships when thrown into a group that none of them wanted to form.. It will be interesting to see how the relationships between the characters develop during the rest of the story.

You know, you are inspiring me to write my own story ... My problem is that I can't come up with dialogs between the characters. I've tried writing some stuff many, many years ago, but my characters do not "get" their own personalities the way they should... They all end up being "me", if you understand what I mean. Any ideas how to avoid or hide it so that it's not immediately apparent? Or does it happen for every author?
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Re: Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance.

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CremionisD wrote: You know, you are inspiring me to write my own story ... My problem is that I can't come up with dialogs between the characters. I've tried writing some stuff many, many years ago, but my characters do not "get" their own personalities the way they should... They all end up being "me", if you understand what I mean. Any ideas how to avoid or hide it so that it's not immediately apparent? Or does it happen for every author?
This happens to every author. Without a doubt. It took me a long time to develop dialogue - and now, as you can probably tell - it's my favorite thing to do in a story. I feel like dialogue can really develop a character's personality; so that when things happen to them or if they do something, the reader will ideally be emotionally impacted by the character's actions. I am nowhere near the level of (for example Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman, who brought us Dragonlance), but as an example, I was finishing "Dragons of a Summer Flame" on the plane recently on a trip back from visiting my parents - and I have no shame in admitting this - the last few pages had my eyes burning with tears. They had created characters, and most of it through dialogue, you really get attached to them.

What I have found is when you create characters - attach their personalities (often to the extreme) of not just yourself, but friends, family, and even inspired by other characters you're familiar with.

I am currently writing with my friend Lindsay - and what we do is essentially write segments of a story in Google docs, much like I do here, with no idea where we're going with it. It's essentially an exercise of creativity. I wrote my main character, and based him off how I would LIKE to be, if I lived in a fantasy world of dragons and wizards; and wrote his companion (a dwarf) inspired by my close friend (whom I've known since the 4th grade, which was eons ago for me!) and the banter between them was very much how I would see my friend and I if we lived in that kind of world. Scribble down notes what each character is like; are they funny? Serious? Sarcastic? They honorable? Quick to get angry? Careless? All of these things help define the character - and as you write, they grow with you (and your skill to write!)

So I would be more than happy to see something you wrote; and give my (un)professional opinion on it and any suggestions, I might have!
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Also read: Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance here on the forum! Check out the site I made for Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance.
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CremionisD
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Re: Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance.

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Sir Tawmis wrote: So I would be more than happy to see something you wrote; and give my (un)professional opinion on it and any suggestions, I might have!
Sorry for the long pause on the replies here. Tried to find time to write something, but failed -- when there was time, there was not enough will... I have ideas, but it seems I am not getting a good enough opportunity to write them down... You probably though you scared me away or something.. Sorry...
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Re: Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance.

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CremionisD wrote:
Sir Tawmis wrote: So I would be more than happy to see something you wrote; and give my (un)professional opinion on it and any suggestions, I might have!
Sorry for the long pause on the replies here. Tried to find time to write something, but failed -- when there was time, there was not enough will... I have ideas, but it seems I am not getting a good enough opportunity to write them down... You probably though you scared me away or something.. Sorry...
Hah! I understand the lack of time, as well. Which is why the LOG story lags; because work is chaotic (which is when I write the LOG segments, to keep me sane and break the monotony) ... And my own story (not LOG related) that I have been working on, now, for at least two years, taunts me with a blinking cursor where no words pour forth... So I understand the lack of time, and the lack of ability to have words come out when there is time! :)

I just wish I could inspire everyone to be creative. I think it's something buried in us all. Some, just deeper than others.
Define ... 'Lost.' Neverending Nights - The Neverwinter Machinima that WILL make you laugh!
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Re: Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance.

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The Origin of Sir Karin and Alissa, Part Three.

Sir Karin was a knight of the Malanian Empire, who faithfully served the king. Assigned to escort Lady Alissa, an aspiring mage, and also daughter to the king, on her voyage to Theareona. Lady Alissa was unlike any other woman; especially a princess. She despised being dotted upon. She believed she was capable of doing anything any other female – or male – could do. So while she had no personal dislike towards Sir Karin, she could not help but feel he was hired as a baby sitter.

The last few days of riding had been spent in silence. Every time Sir Karin spoke, she looked at him with a scathing look, then silenced him. He had tried to apologize several times, about their previous conversation; but she would not have it.

The city of Theareona came into view on the seventh day of riding, and that was when she finally spoke. She looked over her shoulder, “I thank you for your service, Sir Karin. You are free to ride back to the king,” she spoke not her father’s name. “Your duty to me is complete.” It was cold and callous, and said in such a way that she was making it clear that she no longer wanted him around, and that she was giving him an easy out.

Sir Karin smiled weakly, “Of course, Lady Alissa. May the gods watch over you. I am sure the Mages of Theareona will see the great potential you possess.” He pulled on the reigns of his horse and began a slow trot back to Malan Tael.

Lady Alissa urged her horse forward, never looking back.

The gates of Theareona were made of ivory and stone, depicting two great warriors engaged in battle with one another, towering over thirty feet tall. Inside the city gates, the town bustled with activity, with merchants on the sides of the cobble stone road, shouting about their wares and goods. Lady Alissa made her way to the Tower of the Magi Order, where she was greeted by a mage in dark blue robes.

“Lady Alissa?” the mage smiled, his face hidden beneath the shadows of the cowl.

“I am,” she said, proudly, dismounting from her horse, as the mage signaled for another to come around and take its reins.

“We’ve been expecting you,” the mage continued to smile. “It’s such a great honor to have such… royalty among our kind.” He bowed before her, “Follow me, if you will,” and he began to walk down the same alley that the other mage had taken her horse.

“There is no need to bow before me,” Lady Alissa said, with some urgency. “While I may be royalty, here, among all of you, I am just another mage.”

A few steps into the alley, the mage turned, “You are much more than that.”

The mage pulled off the robes, and revealed black leather with a serpent head emblem on his chest. Lady Alissa smiled. “Serpents of Harbardar,” she smiled smugly, leaving the rogue wondering why she was not surprised. “You have underestimated me,” she growled, “and were fools to think that I wouldn’t notice that your robes were missing the distinct mark of the Tower of Magi – the Dawn Star emblem – which can’t be duplicated, since it’s magical. And I recognized your accent the moment you spoke, and knew who you were.”

Her hands began to glow, as silver and red energies crackled around her clenched fists. Bolts flew from her arched finger tips striking the rogue, and the second who had taken her horse. Their lifeless bodies collapsed to the ground.

“Impressive work,” another voice said from behind her. She turned to see ten more of the Serpents of Harbardar standing there – and in the clutches of one of the men, with a dagger to his throat, was Sir Karin. “But,” he looked at the knight, who already looked as if he had been severely beaten. “We found someone that you know. Come with us peacefully, or we kill this knight.”

Sir Karin laughed feebly, blood pouring out of his mouth, “You’ve made a mistake, Serpent of Harbardar… she cares nothing for me… at all… she could not get rid of me… fast enough…”

“So you said,” the Serpent of Harbardar said. “Then, let’s just slit his throat and see how this fight between us goes…”

“If you kill him, and harm me, you will bring the wrath of the entire Theareona upon Harbardar,” Alissa warned.

“You think the Serpent of Harbardar fear your aging father?” the leader smiled. “We already have agents within your kingdom. Your father lives, only because I need him to live… When the time is right, the Serpents of Harbardar will sink their blades into your father’s back with our venom tipped blade… and his kingdom will fall.”

“You’re lying,” Lady Alissa’s lip curled in anger.

“Try me,” the leader shrugged. “Attack me, bring me down – see how much longer your father lives beyond that moment.”

“Swear to me upon the Constellation of Searar that you will not harm the knight if I surrender to you,” Lady Alissa said.

“No,” Sir Karin muttered, barely conscious.

“So the Knight is something to you,” the leader smiled.

“He is a loyal knight to my father, nothing more,” Alissa said.

“No,” Sir Karin fell to his knees as the leader released him from his hold. “Alissa, you must not…”

“I have no choice,” she said, “if I fight they kill you and my father.” She looked at the leader. “What is it you want with me?”

“Your blood,” he said, matter-of-factly. “As it turns out, you come from a long line of powerful Magi,” the leader explained. “And we have need of your blood.”

She extended her hands, and several rogues moved forward – admittedly – hesitantly – towards Alissa and bound her hands and fingers, so that she could not use her magic.

The leader turned and pointed to the Knight, “Bring him along. He will be a wonderful addition to the slave mines.”

“No!” Alissa shouted, “you promised me.”

“I promised he would come to no harm,” the leader smirked. “As long as he does what he’s told in the slave mines, he should live long enough.”


The Serpent Wave cut through the dark waters, as the storm raged.

“I am sorry for this,” Sir Karin muttered, barely able to breath, without the bubbling sound brewing in his lungs.

“You had nothing to do with this,” Alissa said, looking down at the Knight whose face was covered in cuts and bruises. “What happened to you?”

“They ambushed me,” Sir Karin said. “A wagon was broken down on the side, with a woman screaming for help… when I dismounted, they came at me from every side… I cut down six… maybe seven… before one cut me… and the poison took away my strength… when I fell, they circled me, laughing, and beat and kicked me until I lost consciousness…”

“If I could get my hands free, I could heal these wounds,” Alissa said, looking at Sir Karin, perhaps for the first time, with sympathy. “Does it hurt?”

“Only when I breathe, my lady,” Sir Karin managed to smile, blood bubbling on his lips. “If you could do something about the storm, that, I would like to see…”

Alissa smiled, “Dargos, the Storm God, certainly seems upset about something…”

“May the Dargos strike this ship down and render it into a thousand pieces,” Sir Karin muttered. “Both to send these bastard Serpents of Harbardar to the ocean floor and to spare you whatever fate they have in store for you.”
She smiled, “And you? Are you not afraid of the slave pits?”

“Slave pits? You’ve worked for your father,” he jested. “Slave pits on Harbardar may be a vacation.”

She laughed, despite the dire situation; or perhaps because of the dire situation. “You would never speak so if you believed for a moment you were going to live through any of this.”

Sir Karin chuckled. “Perhaps not.”

A loud crackle forced them both to jump, as the sounds of panic began to escalate on the deck. “Dargos?” Alissa asked.

“Dargos,” Sir Karin confirmed with a smirk. “It would seem if the storm god does not like Searar’s followers.”

“And with good reason,” Alissa smirked.

They both knew, that tonight, they were going to die. The sound of the mast above snapping ripped through the ship. The screams of panic decreased, as bodies were washed ashore and pulled beneath the giant waves that now slammed the Serpent Wave.

“It was an honor serving you, Lady Alissa,” Sir Karin whispered.

“I wish I could say the same about your company,” she shrugged. “You were bothersome.”

He laughed.

The ship ripped in half, and a current pulled Sir Karin away, into the ocean, while another tide slammed Alissa into the side, rendering her – perhaps – thankfully – unconscious.


Sir Karin opened his eyes to warmth. But the ground he was laying on was still not stable. He squinted, still beaten and bruised. A woman leaned over him, “This one’s still got life in him. Take him down below so that Jorale can look at him. He might be happy to know that the woman we found floating in the same wreckage is also alive. They both seem to be from the Malanian Empire by the markings they bare.”

Another? Sir Karin couldn’t help but hope that it was Alissa…

The woman smiled – though not with kindness, and she spoke the words, “Welcome about the Elfin Wind.”

TO BE CONTINUED?

NOTES: Harbardar , the city exists (if you look on the bottom left hand corner of the map, on that continent you see peeking out), however, The Serpents of Harbardar are completely made up for this story. They don’t exist in the actual Legend of Grimrock game. Neither do the gods (I don’t think any gods are ever mentioned in Legend of Grimrock?) – Searar, the Serpent God (and God of Lies and Thieves) or Dargos, The Storm God (and God of the Oceans).

It’d been a long time since I have added, so this story was a little longer than usual. Hopefully still enjoyable for anyone still reading.

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Define ... 'Lost.' Neverending Nights - The Neverwinter Machinima that WILL make you laugh!
Also read: Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance here on the forum! Check out the site I made for Legend of Grimrock: Destiny's Chance.
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